I miss work. Not in the kind of missing 'I'd-rather-be-at-work-than-here' way; but in an intellectual way. Never in a hundred years will I give up being home with Lauren, and I appreciate Chase working so hard so I can. Sometimes I just feel like being a homemaker is not conducive to some of my interests, an interest specifically that not very many people know I have. So sorry this is long... I just need to get it out.
In seventh grade I made it onto the Science Olympiad team by the skin of my teeth. (It scares me to think what my life could have been like had I not turned in that application.) Science Olympiad literally changed my life. Before I felt like I never fit in anywhere, didn't have very many friends, and just didn't have a direction. Science Olympiad gave me a passion to work towards. My junior high had won the State Competition for years before then so it was a big deal.
My favorite event was Reach for the Stars (astronomy). I loved it. All my babysitting money went to buying an awesome telescope and a college astronomy textbook which I still have. (I am a nerd, and yes, I am okay with that.) I spent hours upon hours before and after school studying with my coach, Mr. Erickson. I loved that I wasn't bored anymore since I was learning new things all the time in addition to the basic "busy work" school gave me.
I built hundreds of balsa wood bridges, I memorized hundreds of star names and constellations. I learned about microbiology, genetics, science of sound, engineering, construction, geology and the list goes on. I competed in numerous events. Our team won the State Competition all three years I was in junior high so I was able to go to the National Science Olympiad Competition those three years. My last year in junior high I finally reached a goal that I had wanted since I started training three years earlier-a national medal in astronomy.
I continued Science Olympiad throughout high school with our team winning more state competitions. I was able to be the team captain my senior year. It makes me proud to see all of those trophies in the schools' display cases that our team won together. I was asked to be a TA for the new biotechnology class offered at at the high school which got me more interested in the medical aspect of science. Senior year I was asked to apply for the Science Sterling Scholar award. I did and made it as a Regional finalist.
My junior high coaches, Mrs. Nelson and Mr. Erickson, urged me to become a science teacher. So that's what I first majored in when college came around. It was okay for awhile. But I just felt like it wasn't quite right for me. I switched to Public Health, with the idea of maybe going to medical school. I found a job in a biology plant lab doing genetic research on Arabidopsis plants. My biotechnology class put me in contact with several researchers with prospects of being a lab manager when I graduated.
After graduating and hearing back from a company that I don't even remember applying for, I started work for them as their Sample Testing Technician. I LOVED it. Quansys Biosciences treated me well and it was a great fit for me. My job was to test samples for immunological protein markers that could show up from different medical treatments. I worked on blood, serum, and tissue samples from all over the world, Harvard, Johns Hopkins, Biogen etc. Just knowing that the information these places received from the tests I did might help develop new medicines and treatments was thrilling for me.
As the sample testing area of the company started growing, I couldn't keep up and feel like I was being a good mother to Lauren. So I decided it was time to stay home. It was hard... it is hard. But I know it's what I'm supposed to be doing. But that doesn't mean I don't miss learning and being in the know about all the latest science happenings. Believe it or not, there is just not much opportunity for an astronomer/lab technician/geneticist/whatever-scientist being a stay-at-home-mom. And I miss it. Finding new recipes, cleaning, laundry, crafting.... it's all good, it's great even, but it's not my science.
So I guess the question I'm throwing out there is... how can I fulfill my utmost desire to be a good wife and mother, keep a good house... and still find a way to pursue this interest?
5 comments:
you are so awesome Amy! I could tell by some of your pins on pinterest that you are a scientist :)
I wish I had a good answer for you. The only thing that comes to mind is to do simple science with Lauren. You could do a super early science preschool with her :)...although that doesn't really fill your need for grown up science.
I find it very tough to manage my career and educational training with the everyday motherhood role. One of the things that I appreciate about my BYU alumni magazine is the section they have on applying your education outside of the workforce. Many of the articles are from mothers with young kids who find unique ways to utilize their degrees in their homes and communities through volunteer work. Maybe you could call some of the local middle and high schools and ask if you could volunteer with the science olympiads? Perhaps you could contact the elementary school that Lauren will go to and ask if you could come in once a month and do some science experiments in a few of the older grades? I know our schools are lacking so much in budgets right now that most would probably jump on this type of opportunity. I like to stay involved in my field by being a member of the national society, receiving the journals in my field to stay up on the research, and attending a few conferences a year (when I can) to stay in the loop. It helps to stimulate my brain and keep my up on my skills. Maybe you could create your own continuing education training by choosing one area of interest a month and getting more involved in what the current research is showing? Maybe your former boss could give you some of their research information to read? Just throwing my ideas out there...
President Faust said once that there is a season for all things, and that you can't play every verse of your song at the same time. I try to remember that when I'm feeling a bit burned out at staying home all day. You could maybe take some classes, maybe we could even try one together! And I think about the season in life when I can go back and teach again, and it won't be a struggle between kids and work! You're in a hard spot of mothering, and you're doing a fantastic job at it. You're a wonderful example and will be rewarded eternally for all this service you're giving! I hope you can find something to "fill your well", I'm sure you will.
Become an evil scientist and make your basement into laboratory/lair
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