Changes

I feel a little... not sure what to call it... discombobulated? I quit my job on Friday. I've been thinking about it for awhile and was so torn about what to do. It was nice feeling needed and important outside of home. I liked being able to tell people that "yes, I do work in the biotechnology industry."

But it was interesting as soon as my job was not necessary to keep us afloat financially how the feelings toward it changed. I still liked feeling needed there, but instead of looking forward to getting out of the house for awhile, I would hurry so I could get back home to my baby.

In institute awhile back we were having a discussion about working mothers. One mom made the comment that she felt selfish that she wanted to work because she liked the praise and awe she got from people when they found out she was a mom AND worked. I've been feeling more like that. I was beginning to feel that I kept working just for a self-esteem boost. But I figure I need to feel good about myself doing the best job in the world, being a mom: because that's what I want most.

So although this job has been a great blessing to us. It has been awesome and I've learned alot. I will still be able to go in and help when needed once in a blue moon. It's time to be a full-time mommy. And I feel good about that. Like Elder Oaks said, we must sometimes give up what is good for something better.

So even though I am a little sad and it will take some adjustment, I feel at peace with the decision and Lauren's giggles and grins make it all worth it. :)